1 AM and can't sleep

Well I am in a funk....I mean I am excited about my upcoming weekend, but I am finding many things that are causing me a large deal of distress. I am doing my best not to let it get to me. and yet.....it is. I can't just shut it out when it is screaming in my face! I am allot of things but blind and stupid are not among that list. It seems that some people chose to take the easy way out of stress and care little or none about how it makes others feel and worry. I mean how am I supposed to deal with things like that when I can hardly deal with my own stress. I feel if you are so unhappy so stressed that you have to hide your head in the sand so to speak and use things that make you become something that others can't stand to be around then change the shit that is causing it! But hell the cause may be me so I don't know what to do. All I can say is the actions of this individual are selfish at best and down right asinine. Do memory's of things not so long ago even stay with people like that? Or is it just simply disregarding others that love and care for you? Not to mention the distrust it creates within the relationship.
Samhain Rites are this Friday night and I have a heap of things that I truly know I must let go of. I also feel as if I stand on the threshold of a major change in my life. The question is can I be strong enough to take on such things? And if I do....will it be alone? I don't know. I hope not but I know that somehow things must change, I must change...I have to grow stronger, more independent, and gain a greater belief in my own power. But as i say these things there is a great overwhelming fear that whales up inside me, crushes me, and makes me think I could never make it happen. It is all I can do just to breath, just to put one foot in front of the other. I pray to the Goddess to open the door and show me the way out of the forest of doubt and fear that has me wondering lost.